Tags
back to school, Children, detachment, Family, letting go, Mother, nurturing, parents, school, Umbilical cord
I was never one to wish time away. Enjoying the dog days of summer stays with me all the way until the end of October. Living in Montreal, Halloween is the cut-off for me (time to put away my flip-flops). It is reminder to let spring and summer go and prepare for some long winter days.
August though has always held memories of excitement as children and adults alike prepare to go back to school. The school supplies, clothing, back packs, lunch boxes, bus passes. New beginnings and with that new challenges. It never really settled well when I heard mothers stating in front of their kids that they could hardly wait. I didn’t feel that way. I wanted the break to go on until at least the end of October!
But that’s me. I struggle(d?) a bit with ‘letting go’ – When blissful moments and people become a part of my memory bank instead of staying in the present moment, I have to remind myself constantly that life goes on. Not only does life go on but it also has more moments in store ( to hold onto even tighter )! Joking aside, I have learned, by default how to let go, to distance myself from my emotions and just let life flow. Detachment has been a learned task for me – not a natural one and it has taken me about 16 years to master. Hard headedness is not a virtue all of the time!
This poem is about beginning the process of letting go of your child – starting from the moment of birth. At the time the new life leaves the womb they become part of the world, nurtured by their parents for a time, but no longer in the cocoon of safety they and their mother enjoyed by being tethered by the umbilical cord. If it were up to me …. ahh but alas it is not 😉
And as all celebrate arrival
I mourn departure.
Looking to the hills of frosted
Landscapes and
Hailing those before
Me, who have the knowledge
Of my inadequacies.And letting go of nature
To the bounty of the land
Of bits and pieces here and there
To build a repertoire
And feed the soul as well
Ignite it.And bright and bouncing
Footsteps go
before me
into others arms
To learn without me knowing what
Lies in books and others minds.And turning for a time
To words beyond my reach
And thoughts beyond my touch
The core of heart was mine
But now for all to share and
Take more.And down the road of life
Well travelled
You will not be alone.
Although you’ll walk on solo
And ponder life’s decisions grand
I shall toast the gleaming spirit
And trust of bold endeavours.And as all celebrate arrival
I shall happily mourn departure.
Illustration from ‘Prom girls a north american rite of passage’
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Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbilical cord has not yet been cut. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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- Hey Kids: Time to get yer learn on (thethingsihavelearnedblog.wordpress.com)
As a Dad I have always struggled with the two opposing forces. One is cultural and tells me that I should be the stoic guiding hand that keeps my kids on the path to future success and should always be reserved in my affection for my kids. The other is far more personal and the path that I have chose to follow. Its more than just loving your kids as that is automatic but rather in so enjoying your kids that you value every minute you spend with them and if I could extend the summer by one minute I would no matter what the cost. It’s odd that as hard as it was to wave goodbye to them on that first pre-school morn, now that my kids are in 6th and 11th grade I find that goodbye every morning to be far more difficult.
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I hope they know how special you are. Thanks so much for your warmth and honesty. Les
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A gorgeous post Les,
It’s so true, letting go of our children is maybe one of the most difficult thing we do as a mom that if w edon’t can cause years of mental health issues. Seems like sich an oxymoron.
I have news to from an older mother to younger mom’s. It never goes away, that urge to hang on. I have two adult daughter’s. I am in some ways even more protective today. Oh what I would not give to have them back under this roof. Well…I might to strike that…:-)
Take care and be gentle with yourself, BB
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Damned if you do and damned more if you don’t ? Yes, I get it 🙂
Being gentle with myself sounds so gooood – Back to you BB xx
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So bitteraweet I always think. Thanks sweetie. I’m heading that way right now. Take care ~
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Super post and lovely poem. Being English I find these long summers very long but I do not wish them away since both kids go to school this time. I hope one day they spread the hols out a bit like in England.
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Thank you for your compliment Catherine. There may not be a happy medium for families in which both parents work full-time…
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A great article and a beautiful poem that says so much.
I agree that ‘letting go’ is a problem many never solve. But I found – when I let go – the characteristics and directions they took and even how they handled their mistakes was a fascinating character study. My children taught me so much.
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The learning doesn’t end with school does it? I feel the same way.
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Enjoyed reading your post. I have felt the same about my daughter and with my grandchildren living with me as well, I experience the same thing with them. Love your poem.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
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Maternal instincts dictate so much. Thanks so much!
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Sniff – get me the tissues 😦
Thanks Sharla, I wrote it when I saw my daughter as an independent person. She was about 8 years old. I started preparing from that moment on 🙂
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Lesley, this is really beautiful – you captured the essence of life from birth to time of leaving:>)
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