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I will start with – My Dear fellow Bloggers, it has been eight weeks since my last post. No worries, I am not seeking forgiveness as I know I have understanding and support. This is the single most human and humane bunch of world citizens I have come across and because of this fact, my life has been enriched in a lasting fashion.

For the past several years I have fought the hardship that accompanies personal loss(es) which I managed to turn into works of art and writing. To list the losses and their impact on my life would turn this post into a pity-fest and that’s not what I am about. I realised early on that having an optimistic (genetic) disposition was my greatest asset in that fight. Living what I fundamentally believed in and preached was also a helpful tool; so much so that I no longer need to rummage through my personal data base of enlightenment and positivity anymore searching for solace and inner peace – it just is.

This said, while on vacation for a couple of weeks in a sun destination, I naturally packed my tool-kit: music, books, writing paper, sticky notes, pens and an agenda of what I would accomplish during my time in the sun. Then a funny thing happened. I did not unpack my kit. Instead I moved into a brainless, non-productive mode that was at once exhilarating and frightening. With no internet access at all what-so-ever my days were simple and day after day I ran out of time or at least it felt like it. At the end of each day as I lay down my weary head and sun burned body I would reflect on the day and wonder where the time had escaped to but never once chided myself for neglecting my ‘agenda’. Instead I offered myself a hall pass for the same the next day … and so on and so on.

Before leaving, I did something that I had never done before – I turned off my email notifications for WordPress and since returning have not turned them back on. The emails were driving me to the point of information overload but I didn’t see that until my inbox held a scant few messages. While I absolutely do miss religiously reading everyone’s amazing, educational, enlightening, mood lifting, most interesting blog posts, I don’t miss the feeling that I am missing something crucial to my existence!

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you’re gonna get
a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

David Bowie (1971) Hunky Dory Albumn

No, I still don’t know exactly what I have been waiting for either but whatever it was – It has arrived. My inner peace is back and I am feeling like my old, much younger self πŸ™‚ – I am feeling authentic and I have not felt that way for ever.

and Yes, I have incorporated changes with ease as I am writing more and even have a few writing gigs which are keeping me busy and making me feel alive.

I turned the corner to face me and the timing was just right to turn and face the stranger I had become to myself. Thanks everyone for your participation in my journey of self-discovery and preservation. Hearts out. Lesley

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peace bob fiona better qualityLesley Fletcher is a writer (freelance, books, content, lyrics,stage plays) as well as a visual artist specializing in monoprints. To learn more about her please visit the tabs here on WordPress or her website atΒ http://www.LesleyFletcher.com

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