Tags
change, changes, David Bowie, enlightenment, Inner peace, inspiration, lesley fletcher, losses, peace, struggles, travel, vacation, writing
I will start with – My Dear fellow Bloggers, it has been eight weeks since my last post. No worries, I am not seeking forgiveness as I know I have understanding and support. This is the single most human and humane bunch of world citizens I have come across and because of this fact, my life has been enriched in a lasting fashion.
For the past several years I have fought the hardship that accompanies personal loss(es) which I managed to turn into works of art and writing. To list the losses and their impact on my life would turn this post into a pity-fest and that’s not what I am about. I realised early on that having an optimistic (genetic) disposition was my greatest asset in that fight. Living what I fundamentally believed in and preached was also a helpful tool; so much so that I no longer need to rummage through my personal data base of enlightenment and positivity anymore searching for solace and inner peace – it just is.
This said, while on vacation for a couple of weeks in a sun destination, I naturally packed my tool-kit: music, books, writing paper, sticky notes, pens and an agenda of what I would accomplish during my time in the sun. Then a funny thing happened. I did not unpack my kit. Instead I moved into a brainless, non-productive mode that was at once exhilarating and frightening. With no internet access at all what-so-ever my days were simple and day after day I ran out of time or at least it felt like it. At the end of each day as I lay down my weary head and sun burned body I would reflect on the day and wonder where the time had escaped to but never once chided myself for neglecting my ‘agenda’. Instead I offered myself a hall pass for the same the next day … and so on and so on.
Before leaving, I did something that I had never done before – I turned off my email notifications for WordPress and since returning have not turned them back on. The emails were driving me to the point of information overload but I didn’t see that until my inbox held a scant few messages. While I absolutely do miss religiously reading everyone’s amazing, educational, enlightening, mood lifting, most interesting blog posts, I don’t miss the feeling that I am missing something crucial to my existence!
I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face meCh-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you’re gonna get
a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace timeDavid Bowie (1971) Hunky Dory Albumn
No, I still don’t know exactly what I have been waiting for either but whatever it was – It has arrived. My inner peace is back and I am feeling like my old, much younger self 🙂 – I am feeling authentic and I have not felt that way for ever.
and Yes, I have incorporated changes with ease as I am writing more and even have a few writing gigs which are keeping me busy and making me feel alive.
I turned the corner to face me and the timing was just right to turn and face the stranger I had become to myself. Thanks everyone for your participation in my journey of self-discovery and preservation. Hearts out. Lesley
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Lesley Fletcher is a writer (freelance, books, content, lyrics,stage plays) as well as a visual artist specializing in monoprints. To learn more about her please visit the tabs here on WordPress or her website at http://www.LesleyFletcher.com
clinock said:
Welcome back Lesley, to the blogosphere and to the refreshed and balanced center of your self…we missed you…
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Ego states: It is so great to missed. Thanks John 🙂
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LuAnn said:
I was so thrilled to read this Lesley as I have been having some similar feelings as of late, not able to put my finger on exactly what it is but being torn between blogging, keeping up with all the amazing bloggers out there that have touched me so, and just being. So glad to hear you found some balance.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Hi LuAnn – You too have been through some changes and stress so in light of that it is to be expected that priorities change. As human beings, I think we need change but reject it at the same time. Yes, doing what you need to do to keep balanced should be number one on the list of life. Thanks for taking a moment to come by. Hope all is swell 🙂
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LuAnn said:
I am doing well, thank you Lesley. 🙂
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greatpoetrymhf said:
I love this thank you …..recently I wrote
I needed sleep until I could awaken….
So dear heart, I hear you loud and clear.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Wise words, yes – I knew you would of course 🙂 xx
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Sandie's Snippets said:
Thank you for your honesty in this post. I have been on a similar journey of late and am just beginning to wake up from those same feelings.
🙂
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Sandie, It is good to relate isn’t it? And yes, it is a very freeing feeling to wake up and find yourself back to normal with the codicil that normal is never what it was before and never will be but that’s okay. My best to you on your quest.
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buildingalifeofhope said:
Stepping out and away clears the lens and cleanses the soul. Welcome back! 🙂
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Absolutely! Thank you. Good to be here 🙂
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Stefanie Neumann said:
WELCOME HOME LESLEY! 😀
(and I am not referring to the blogger world…)
Much love,
Steffi
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Hi Steffi, It is always good to be home and I AM referring to the blogger world 😀 hehehe xx
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Deli Lanoux, Ed.D. said:
I know just what you mean. Blog post overload can be overwhelming, burdensome, and… um… obligatory and kind of addictive. But there are sooo many excellent bloggers in the WP realm that sometimes one can’t imagine the day without taking just a wee peek. Then, oh, my gosh! Total immersion! Hours gone by just like that! And what about all else I had to do this morning, today?
Yet there IS life without succumbing to the never ending curiosity, reading, enjoyment, and so on. Um, you know what I mean.
Shockeroo, though, that someone hasn’t come up with a term for this blogger/blogging syndrome!!! Heaven knows there’s a name and a fix for anything and everything these days!
But, yeah. I can relate. And, as you noted to “books & art,” gotta find the balance ’cause discomforting disequilibrium can feel so yucky.
Sooo… Feel mo’ betta. Be absolved from your guilt. Don’t put yourself between a rock and a hard place anymore. After all, the posts keep coming; so you can pick and choose (to read) at will.
Here’s wishing you a sunny day!
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Deli Lanoux, Ed.D. said:
Oh, and I was referring to Mary M. Forbes’s comment.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
🙂 You really had me smiling wide. YES I am absolved! I will keep a better pace from now on. Perhaps it would do you some good as well. WPaddiction and other online addictions are cropping up all over. Most people who use facebook make it their 1st stop every morning – even before their email. Hooked, I tell you – hooked.
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Deli Lanoux, Ed.D. said:
I’m chuckling at the sight of the two of us at WP Anonymous. Hahahahaha. But, see, I took care of the “situation” by scanning the titles when the posts are delivered to my email inbox and then moving them to my “WP-blogs-to-read” for future reading. If I’m having a busy day; I read five to ten right away (or “in a few”). Otherwise, they wait. And, if I just can’t get to them before the Next Big Batch comes in, I purge the folder before “feeding” it so that I don’t feel the looming pressure..
Works for me! And it saved me going through the twelve steps! Haha.
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Deli Lanoux, Ed.D. said:
P.S. It might help you understand where I’m coming from if I share this: I don’t do Facebook, and I’m a phone phobe. So, excluding those from my diet, is liberating to the max, as you can well imagine. Mind you, I text once in a blue moon; but I refuse to give in to other social media. Time is too precious, and there’s so much to do! Besides, blogging is a 24/7/365 reality, especially if it’s service to community. Gotta love it! And WP is a fine venue.
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Amy said:
That peacefulness allows us to discover yourself and connect the inner of yourself… So glad you enjoyed it!
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Yes, Amy and I plan to continue to do so which is paramount to my progress! ty ty
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silentlyheardonce said:
Good for you Lesley. Peace is what we all need and I am so happy you found yours.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Thanks Kim – peace to you too.
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susanscottsa said:
Just love this Lesley thank you so so much!
May the force be with you as you face and turn face and turn …
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
🙂 thanks dear Susan!
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Margot Kinberg said:
Lesley – Isn’t it wonderful when you find that core of yourself? I’m extremely happy for you and I think you did the right thing to just take some time and be. With your self back, there’s no limit to what is possible.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Margot – your support and words are a priceless treasure. Thank you.
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marymforbes said:
I’m so glad you found peace. Life can be sometimes very hard. I bet it was fun to just relax and go with the ‘flow’ for a while. There is very much an overload of information/things to do and it’s great you found a balance. Good luck.
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Books & Art - Spirit & Soul - Lesley Fletcher said:
Thank you Mary. You said it – the balance is so difficult sometimes. While I am working quite a bit now, the flow feels right.
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