Tags
extroverts, introvert, lesley fletcher, personality, self-talk, self-therapy, shyness, speaking out, Susan Cain, Ted Talk video, trends
Early on in life it became apparent to me that fashion goes full circle. In the 2000’s we experienced a surge of 70’s styles, in the 10’s the 80’s and prior to that appreciation of other eras and trends being adopted by the newly coming to age generations. Each knew they were following an old trend but somehow believed they were the hip ones by proxy.
My first clue took place with the resurrection of high-waisted elephant pants in delightful shades of orange, pink, lime green and baby blue. Older people, at the time (in their 20’s) actually opted for plain old white but not me. I campaigned long and hard for orange ones, only to end up with pink, end-of-clearance pants. Alas, I didn’t care. I had my elephant pants and that is all that was important – until – I found out that the style was from the 40’s and my father proved it by digging out a photo of himself in the Navy. His pants were white and so I still felt rather advanced in the tween style of choice department. Yes, if I do the math, it makes perfect sense that the 30 year interval kicked into effect in the 70’s. Fast forward to today and they are making another comeback.
To this day I wish I had held onto my peace beads from the real 60’s as now, in 2014, they have made their 3rd and still counting ‘debut’.
In retrospect, I probably should have had the foresight to hold onto my parents’ solid teak furniture, but as it turns out, I was trending in shabby chic by that point in my life.
And the countless Tiffany lamps? I definitely missed the mark on that one. It turns out that Tiffany lamps are classics and I have unimaginably reached the age of classics. (Insert timeless grin here).
We all become followers of trends and fashion at some point often because of supply and demand. I would have loved nothing more than to wear my white painter paints for the rest of my life, but at one point they just weren’t available, even in 2nd hand stores. I have a theory on that too. They were just so fantastic that everyone held onto theirs even if they were falling apart or they had out grown them.
Supply and Demand. These are words that apply to hard goods and services which makes for understandable analysis. But who would have thought that being an introvert in society would become a much revered characteristic? Aren’t we supposed to be more drawn to happy-go-lucky extroverts by nature? What’s with the dominance of introverts? I know there is a big supply, but why is there also a big demand?
I ask these questions for a selfish reason. I actually demand to know why there is a big demand. How those introverts of society managed to become the desirable one to hang with and hire, trust and buddy up with just blows my newly-extroverted mind. Since when has being a shy, quiet, add-nothing-to-the-party wallflower become popular? Since now. Being an introvert is in vogue and I am pissed about that.
If my reaction seems to be over the top, I ask for a moment that you walk in my shoes. I have spent more than half my life running away from my introverted self. Actually, I have spent all of my life dealing with my introverted self and despising that facet of me.
It started when I entered the school system as until then since I came from a gentle home, I had plenty of confidence and self-esteem. Enter the hard ass, mean spirited bully driven elementary school children, not to mention some of the teachers and my personality dove straight into a cave and refused to come out until grade eight. At that time it made a brief, unspectacular appearance that was lauded by my parents, but unfortunately ran straight for the hills within a couple of years.
I tackled the issue again when I was 23 by putting myself through a series of painful exercises such as going to the movies solo, eating in a restaurant and ordering wine alone, making a series of phone calls, adjusting my physical posture and core strengthening just to name a few. I still blushed inexplicably at every turn, but I was slowly but surely coming out of my shell. The road to becoming an extrovert from an extreme introvert has consumed more self-therapy and exploration than anyone could fathom, unless they had experienced the same.
Fast forward to this morning. I was able to refuse to replace my wind shield wipers in a group setting, out loud. (the car dealership loves to up-sell) This may not appear to be anything earth shattering, but to me it is. It means that my journey has garnered me an ability to interact in public. Even up ‘til a few years ago, I would have agreed to spend the money for new wiper blades that I didn’t need just to speak as few words as possible and not have any attention put on me. For these sorts of incidents, I am grateful to myself for sticking with it. Travelling solo kind of sealed the deal although I still have a café that I have been eye-balling, but have dared not enter yet. I have hope that by reading the menu several times and peering from the outside that I will eventually put away the shyness so I may go in for a read and a cup of tea.
There is a very, very, very admirable trend going on right now and with all jokes and pokes aside I don’t believe for a moment that it has existed before nor will it go away any time soon. I celebrate it fully. It is simply the right and privilege to be accepted exactly the way you were made. I wish it had existed fifty years ago. It would have been a keeper then as well and saved me so much hardship and emotional turmoil.
It was especially hard to practice being alone in Istanbul but I managed for the most part. Stopped writing for a photo op 🙂
That said – party on extroverts and introverts – each in your own unique and beautiful way. There is room and reason for everyone and no one should feel that they have to change in order to match with society’s expectations of what is acceptable or cool. And I think everyone started to wake up to this in 2013. It takes some ‘trends’ a while to catch on, after all.
If anyone has 19 minutes there is a fantastic presentation by a female lawyer who is a self-proclaimed introvert. Susan Cain prompted this post. Thanks Susan for speaking on behalf of so many.
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Peace All ❤
Lesley Fletcher is a writer (freelance, books, content, lyrics,stage plays) as well as a visual artist specializing in monoprints. To learn more about her please visit the tabs here on WordPress or her website at http://www.LesleyFletcher.com
Hi Lesley.. at last a moment to comment on your post! For me, I’ve gone through stages of being an introvert to being an extrovert and back to introvert and so on. I too was thought stand-offish as a young woman. I’ll check Susan Cain’s video at a later stage – in haste x x x
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Reblogged this on Greatpoetrymhf's Weblog and commented:
Les Fletcher is this hour’s inspiration
http://www.scoop.it/t/free-hugz-sharing-of-inspiration-and-miracles/p/4020937362/2014/05/07/what-s-in-vogue-now-best-trends-forever
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Thanks Mary Helen 🙂
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Hello Lesley…
A very provocative and clever post… Thanks for sharing your inner light
I will watch the TedTalk… It seems truly interesting.
Best wishes to you, Aquileana 😀
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Thanks A – Enjoy the video. She is very convincing and quite funny. Listening to the Obama, Presidential Dinner speech – he is hilarious too.
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Lesley, this was such a refreshing post for me as I am also an introvert who spent a great deal of her life trying to conform in the corporate world to the rules established by extroverts. Before that I grew up as a child feeling different from many around me, feeling a bit left out, and struggling to try to find a way to fit in. I masqueraded successfully both in school and in corporate America but the experiences were exhausting, looking back.
When I began to read this past couple of years about what the true definition of an introvert was, not the shy wallflower that I had always been told, but someone who derived stimulation in a calmer, quieter fashion, I felt vindicated in some way.
I loved, loved, loved this post Lesley! 🙂
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My sister from another mother – no Doubt! Yes, it was a struggle but now we know there is no need. Wonderful is the feeling of freedom.
The phone calls to my parents from the school started early on. They were made to feel it was their problem to ‘fix’. As a result I ended up in so many awful group settings. It actually made me despise girls. That has all changed. Love the boys still, but girls rule too! Thanks thanks thanks!
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It felt liberating to me when I learned the true meaning of introvert. I had female friends who told me after they got to know me that they initially thought I was a snob because of my quiet ways. I have always had more male friends than female. It is so nice to know that I have another sister out there. 🙂
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How apropos! Ties in well with last night’s dream: I was wearing culottes! Totally weird! Maybe something I had for dinner?!!
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Funny! Cheese does that. At least it wasn’t a hot pants onesy.
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Lesley – I couldn’t possibly agree with you more. We are the way we were intended to be in terms of being outgoing or not (and a lot of other things too). The goal shouldn’t be trying to become something/someone else. It should be nurturing the self we have and making it the very best it can be.
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The quagmire over took my sense of self. I have the balance now and so thankful for it because I really was functionally inept. I still blush but now I tell everyone it’s because I have lots of iron in my blood heheheee! Thanks for coming by Margot – I thought you may be out celebrating Poirot’s Birthday 😀
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