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Over time I have found myself getting stronger, especially in my weakest moments. I am not sure I actually like myself some days because I hardly recognise the me I left behind. Often it is the case that in order to move forward one has to be selfish which is not something that I am comfortable with. It is as though my inner self comes to surface and fights with me! I am not sure who wins…

The line of balance is a delicate one. I wonder at my confidence level, at my ability as an artist, at my ability to communicate with emotion and effectiveness. Will exuding confidence come off as being brash (the English side asks politely) – Is it real or am I a walking fraud? And then I came across this which of course can either add to the confusion or put it to bed once and for all! Chances are it will figure itself out.

Steven pressfield book – the war of art
In spite of all that – I love life